The end of the world as we know it?

A couple of days ago my flatmate and I were curled up in my room in our jammies, tea in hand and somehow the conversation meandered onto the cheerful topic of the end of the world. What would get us first she wondered, would it be all out nuclear war? Would India and Pakistan turn each other into smoking holes in the ground? Would Russia and the USA in a fit of high spirits send nuclear warheads screaming across the Atlantic? It was a worry we agreed but I was of the opinion the world had bigger problems. I think the world has been nearer to nuclear meltdown. I remember a conversation with my mother a few years ago. She remembers some of the Cold War and how there were times when impending nuclear doom seemed not only likely but probable. I’ve not quite reached that stage of terror so I’m still taking out the rubbish and not cowering under the bed with a paper bag over my head just yet.

If not nuclear war, then maybe terrorism? Again I wrinkled my nose, not convinced. Terrorists, as has been proved over and over again, have been capable of terrible things but I think they lack the organisation to threaten the entire world order. The main advantage to terrorism is that most terrorists are motivated by their own perverted beliefs and the problem (or advantage) with that is that no-one quite believes exactly the same thing. So you get splinter groups and then splinter groups from them until you get a bewildering array of terrorist groups who probably hate each other more than their supposed enemies. To paraphrase Augustus De Morgan, great cells have little cells upon their backs to bite ‘em, and little cells have lesser cells and so ad infinitum.

No, I think we’re looking at global warming which will eventually be the downfall of humanity. I study geology (not geography! Please don’t get them mixed up or you may find yourself being punched by an irritable geologist. Nothing gets a geologist more riled up than people thinking they study geography. The film The Core comes a close second but that’s a story for another day) and I’m sorry folks but it’s happening and there’s bugger all you can do about it. Recycling your milk cartons and using energy efficient lightbulbs is not going to offset all the damage that humans have done over the past three centuries. Rising sea levels will push more people into less space. Less land means less room for agriculture and the poorest will be the first to starve. Dwindling resources will push humanity to the edge and we’ll disappear into extinction in a blaze of war, protectionism and arrogance.

But to end on a positive note – what an achievement for mankind! Never mind agriculture or the electric toothbrush, we have managed to throw a spanner in the workings of an entire planet.